9/26
Today God revealed that bitterness had been affecting a lot of my life. I always thought it was strength and endurance and was a good thing. I had never seen it for what it was! I'm blown away at the truth of it all! It's gone now and all I can say is that in itself is a miracle!!...but I don't know how to act now! lol
Where a heavy weight used to be is now free and feeling strangely good...although it feels unnatural. It affected so much of my everyday life that not having it there is weird. I know I want to be here. It's like I was a blind person seeing for the first time. I no longer need my cane...but now what do I do with that hand? I feel ackward! Having only ever seen darkness being able to see the light, is overwhelming. I can't believe how darkness lied. There's so much to take in and I'm not sure how to act. I don't even know else to describe it. It's humbling!
Through my moments of guilt for being bitter, I heard "There is no condemnation..." I finally told God I was sorry for being a slow learner, deaf and bull headed.
I was reminded of all I'd learned all those years and heard my spiritual mother say "Live with no regret!".
I just know it's all good and I'm gonna stand right here quietly and take in the new sights and feeling His love til I know what to do with myself.
Doing these Bible studies helped me see truth...
Bitterness is not a symptom it's the cause!
Unforgiveness is the single most popular poison that the enemy uses against God's people, and it is one of the deadliest poisons a person can take spiritually. It causes everything from mental depression, to health problems such as cancer and arthritis. I'm not saying that in every single case of cancer, it is due to unforgiveness, but I am saying that it can cause cancer. Cancer comes from the devil, scientist can't explain it, doctors don't understand where it comes from; it's the symptoms of a curse. God allowed the Israelites to face diseases and sickness when they disobeyed Him (Deut 28:58-61), and when they would turn back to Him, He would heal their land and take sickness from their midst (Exodus 23:25, Deut 7:15). In the New Testament, Jesus gave us two commandments (Matthew 22:37-40), and if we break those, we can be opened up to curses, just as the people in the Old Testament were. Jesus never came to abolish the law (Matthew 5:17), but He did come to set us free from the curse of the law (Galatians 3:13), meaning, Jesus paid the price so we can be set free from any curses we may have come under.
http://www.greatbiblestudy.com/unforgiveness_poison.php
http://www.greatbiblestudy.com/bitterness.php
http://www.greatbiblestudy.com/sws_unforgiveness.php
http://www.greatbiblestudy.com/sws_unforgiveness_part2.php
Later, a friend of mine emailed me saying He was trying to be supportive but I'd pushed him away. In replying, I realized how much I'd hurt people...especially those I love! THEN, I realized I'd been fighting the wrong battle for most of my life!
How humbling! All those years of fighting "my" battle thinking how strong I'd become standing with only a few standing with me...and it was the wrong one!!!
I saw what looked like cloud matter formed like a circle within me spirit. it slowly turned from the right to the left....putting me in balance...wowowow!
I will always stand behind what I've said. I'm eternally grateful for those who believed me...but I'm so very sorry about how I said things. I never wanted to hurt anyone.
You are all I need.
Every thought held captive
as I worship at your feet.
I lay my burdens down
I give you all of me
You said you'd move my mountain
and, Lord, I believe.
I sing to you, O Mighty God
You're everything to me
Fill me with your presence
as I stand in awe of thee.
You called me by my name
You fill me with your peace
You bring me through to victory...
And, Lord, I believe.
No tongue can judge
No weapon succeed
This is my heritage
My righteousness is of Thee.
I give you all my praise
with every breath I breathe
In your presence there is Joy
And Lord, I believe!
In His
Joy
Philippians 4:6-9 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
9 Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.
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